The Road to Body Positivity...

There is a difference between being vain and loving yourself. 

Self love is defined as a "regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic quality)" . 
This means that loving yourself is 

1. Not something to be ashamed of
2. Something that others may find attractive
3. Something that is important for your well-being and general happiness. 

Basically, if you are not happy with the body that you have, you will find that this unhappiness may appear elsewhere too. ("We accept the love we think we deserve"). 

I saw this adorable little cartoon-type drawing about self love on my Instagram feed the other day:

I made it extra-large because it is very important for you to see and to read. (also credit to Beth Evans, who drew this). 

Self love is difficult. Everyone struggles sometimes, we all have days where we look in the mirror and wish that we could change this, or shrink that. I am going to talk about myself now, because that's the only way I really know how to explain what I'm trying to say. 

Okay. So. I am a UK size 10, which is a size 8 in the US, or a 38/36 in Europe, depending on where you're from. According to a 2013 news article I found (basically the following info is outdated and possibly now incorrect), the average women living in the UK is 5 foot 3 inches tall, weighs 11 stone (70.2 kg), and wears a size 16. 

To compare, I am 5 foot 6 inches tall, weigh around 60kg (around 9.5 stone), and wear a size 10. This means that I am below average. This could mean that my body is seen as desirable, I do not know. 

I still struggle with insecurities. I know that in today's society, many people see being slim as being attractive. That's the way it is. Skinny = pretty. Not true. And for the record, I'm not skinny, more curvy, I guess? There is a thing called 'thin privilege', however, and if you haven't heard of it, please check this out before you continue to read here. 

So yes, I may be 'lucky' because of my size, but that does not always equate to happy. 

I struggle sometimes with self love. I spend too long looking in the mirror, trying to erase any imperfections that I deem unacceptable. And I am going to talk about them. Not because I want people to tell me that my self-perceived flaws aren't even flaws at all, but to show you reading this that body positivity and self love is possible, despite seeing flaws and hating parts of your body. 

So, let's list 'em... Firstly, I feel that my legs are too big, and not toned enough. I don't like my knees. I have poor circulation, so my legs are kinda weird in that poor circulation way. My hands and feet are really quite small. I get lots of spots on my back. My belly has a little layer of fat on it, and my belly bloats a lil around the time of my period. Speaking of which, around the same time, I get huge, gross red spots on my chin. Not attractive. I wear glasses, I don't like my nose. I have hooded eyes, and I can't do winged eyeliner. 

Notice that I went from stating an opinion on my body, to talking about it like it was fact. It's not fact that spots are unattractive. It's what, for some reason, my brain has come to believe. I struggle with being body positive, but I don't let it hold me back. 

I wore a crop top to college the other week. I have purchased a few tops that reveal skin, such as my shoulders and my back. I wore a skirt to college just the other day, and I was proud of the fact that I thought it looked really nice. Yes, that's right, I wore a skirt, despite not liking my legs. And guess what? No one commented, I had no reason to feel insecure, and I even had a moment where I looked in the mirror and thought "actually, my legs look pretty good". 

Understandably, it's difficult to feel body positive at certain times of the month, and it's okay to have what could be called a 'relapse', or a bad day. Hell, there are still days where I want to wear the biggest band tee I own because I don't like the way that my stomach looks. 

But, despite any insecurities that I may have, I still have body positive days. I have days when I am less positive.. But I still try, and make an effort, and sometimes, finding the perfect top makes me feel a million dollars, and helps me to love myself. 

Basically, I tried to expand on what the cartoon was showing. I hope it was okay? 

Basically, being body positive is difficult, and we all have lots of insecurities, or things we don't like about our bodies. We should not let those things stop us from loving ourselves, and the vessels in which we will travel the earth. 

Okay. Cool. 

Hope this made sense. 

Bye for now!
- Dottie x